Turning 55 in a 9 Year: Reflections on Midlife, Numerology, and Letting Go
Today I turn 55. Or as my good friend likes to say, ‘Double Nickles’.
I didn’t plan to blog about it. I thought I’d just drink my tea and reflect quietly… but then I woke up with my left eye nearly swollen shut, thanks to what I suspect is poison ivy—lovingly gifted by my dog, who must’ve rubbed up against some vines on the backyard fence and passed it on to me during a cuddle session.
Happy birthday to me, right?
Honestly… it’s perfect.
This year is my 9 year in numerology, which signifies a sacred time of endings, completions, and clearing space for something new. And April? It’s said to be the most emotionally intense month of a 9 year.
And yes—this month has been a lot.
There’s been heaviness. Emotional waves. A sense of shedding skin I didn’t even know I’d outgrown. It’s the kind of spiritual transition that doesn’t look glamorous. It looks like journaling at 6am. Crying during a hike. Saying goodbye to things you weren’t quite ready to let go of.
And yes—it looks like waking up on your birthday with a puffy, itchy eye.
But it’s also looked like getting back in my body.
Earlier this week, I turned on some music, tuned out the noise, and dropped into Ishtara movement—a sensual, somatic practice that blends dance, breathwork, and embodiment techniques to awaken feminine energy and release stuck emotion.
I danced, I shook, I moved like wildfire.
I let the anger move through me instead of calcify.
I let my hips speak.
I let my shoulders weep.
I let the stuckness move.
Because endings aren’t just mental. They don’t live only in our thoughts.
They live in our fascia. Our hips. Our bellies. Our breath.
This isn’t just a mindset shift.
This is a body-based initiation.
So, in honor of this messy, magical, midlife moment—I wanted to share a few truths that are landing in me deeply as I step into 55:
Aging isn’t something I’m trying to outrun anymore. It’s something I’m leaning into.
My intuition doesn’t always speak in words. Sometimes she smells like lavender.
The slower I move, the more powerful I become.
I’m not here to be understood by everyone. I’m here to be true to myself.
Midlife isn’t a crisis. It’s a reclamation.
If you’re navigating your own midlife transition, entering a 9 year, or letting go of something tender… I want you to know:
You’re not alone.
It’s okay if it’s messy.
It’s okay if it’s emotional.
It’s okay if your dog gives you poison ivy and the only thing that helps is dancing it out in your kitchen.
This season is sacred.
Let your body lead.
With love (and antihistamines),
Tamara